y i just wan to find a replacement oso will be tat hard..i just wan to start everything again, i just wan to start a new life..y will it be tat hard? i reali dun take any hurt anymore..my heart is bleeding, if i still cnt stop bleeding n i will die becoz of loss too much blood..
i dun wan to bring any burden to anyone anymore..i knw tis is a very small thing..i'll do my best settle it by myself..no matter hw the situation will becum, i'll take the responsibility by myself..i'll settle evrything by myself..i sure..
new trimester start soon..i have to stop n reset everything again b4 the trimester start..i have to reali focus on study and act as gud fren in frnt of everyone..i shud be a gud actress again..reali..i sure i can do it..i reali 4got tat i'm an actress b4..i shud take my role again..n be the best actress again..i knw i can do it..
Posted by
BrownieMadness
15 comments:
the picture looks so scary~~ @@
Although I don't know what actually happened to you, but u sounded quite stress+sad+frustrated..etc..
Cheer ya my friend. Though life is difficult,we have to act,and things aren't easy sometimes.. there are ups and downs, but don't worry.
All these will be over very soon as long as you believe in god, believe in yourself..you can do it.
Take it easy..take it slow..
All the best. =)
thx fren..i'm reali damn sad+frustrated..sry to scared u..><
but reali thx tat still gt u all among me..
let me tell u...
actualy u jz nid a sunny frenz around u...
for example like me!! XD
allow me 2 help u start everythin ok?
im a gud director~haha..
u do not need to act.
yes, like is like a play..
and we are the actress and actors of our life..
but that doesnt mean we have to act n pretend in our life..
all u have to do is believe in yourself..
and always be yourself..
if you can have that self believe,
trust me, u will go further than u think u can.
dont act. but live your life as u..
snoopy: r u sure u r a gud director?will u lead me to the wrong way n end up we lost 2gether? @.@
devil: ya..may be u r rite..but the main thing is i dun even believe myself..coz i even cnt find the real me..i found out i kinda of lost at the journey..
btw..guys..i knw u all r reali care abt me..but i reali feel kind of down..coz i found out i'm kind of out frm sumone list..i mean bff list..may be i tot tat i'm the person's bff..but the person din even think tat..
= =
why do u not believe yourself?
being a teenager is a process of self discovery..
u will discover yourself soon enough..
juz be who u r..
seriously..acting will only kill u..
u may think it will make ur life easier..
it will at first..
but sooner or later..when the real u r exposed bit by bit..
u will suffer..
trust me
dont live a life of an act..
live a life for being urself
its more worth it..
may be tats true..but i dun even knw which is the true me..hw i wan to live a life for being myself..><
maybe i just lack of confidence to continue my life..
take time to discover urself..
take time to discover ur identity..
u must build that self confidence...
what u wanna do if u have no confidence?
stop ur life juz like tat?
if u do that...
i swear u will always regret n suffer later..
dude...
slowly think..
do find that self confidence
dont give up..never ever give up..
is tired to discover myself n my identity..
is tired to build the stupid confidence..
y shud i continue my life in tis kind of sucks way..is tiring..
may be i will regret but at least i ant b tired anymore..
= =
juz becuz you r tired ur giving up?
dude..look around u...
ur not the only one...
there ppl out there in a more worst condition than u..
those successful ppl work their ass up..
and they r way way tired than u..
but they neva complain..
because they not that this it is worth it..
u got a chance to be where u r now.
in a condition so much better...
not all ppl can get this chance..
haiz...y u mcm ni?
u are not like that before..
i knw my life is nt the worse..but nw i reali feel tat my life is damn miserable..my life is sucks..
u ask me y i turn to like tis..u knw y isnt it..after the thing happen my life totally change..i life turn to be tis..i lost everything..everything..none of them left...
no matter how miserable or how suck ur life is..
u have to go through it..
God have given u a wonderful gift of life..
He is testing u on how u manage that special gift of yours...
u do not lost everything..
u only loose some...
when u loose, there is always an opportunity to gain..
there is billion ppl around the world..
look around u, jessica..
there is still friends whom are willing to be there for u..
look at ur hometown..there is still ppl care for u..
look at ur family...ur never ever ending ppl..
they will be there for u..
in life, we have to loose something to gain..
tell urself, its ok..
this is one of the obstacles God is testing to me..
n u should not fail it..
if u give up on ur life like that,
u will hurt the ppl whom care so much about u..
gift?did he give any gift to me? y until nw i still cnt c any gift tat he give to me?u knw..every nite when i be alone,i'll start think back everything tat happened b4..i cnt stop it..i tried to kick the memory away from my memory but i cnt..i tried..i reali tried..but it doesnt work..
look ard me..ya..i gt a lot of frens..but i cnt always be their burden..i have to be independence..i cnt always asking help frm them..if i keep asking help frm them,no matter hw gud they r,they will oso be angry n away frm me 1 day..if everything will turn to be tis..y dun i just dun be their burden at the beginning?y dun i just act in my role as a "inmature" n "silly" gal at the beginning?
nw i reali hate the world..hate the life..its sucks..its just rubbish..but i still have to continue my rubbish life until the day i finish my job..its reali sucks life i have..
i knw i'm nt the only 1..n others will be worse then me..but i reali sick wif tis kind of life..everyday go class pretend happy,pretend close wif them,pretend i'm gud gal..but c'mon la..who is the gud gal?r they reali think tat i'm their gud fren?or they just use me when they nid me?i reali feel tat..may be u can think tat i'm too sensitive..but i feel it..just like him..din even talk wif me more then 10 sentences after the holidays..finish use just throw aside..pls la..i nt a toy k..
life is a gift no one can ever give u..
only HE can..
it is impossible to forget ur pass..
no one can ever forget..
what u have to do is, accept the fact..
n move on..
whats the point of thiking..
will thiking help u bring back the past..?
no it will never do..
look at the future..
u cnt do anything about the past..
look for a better future...
what r friends for..?
friends are not there to only keep u accompany..
they r there to help u..
u may think ur burdening them..
but they may not think that way...
haiz...
u have to change ur perspective about ur life..
i dunno la u..
i try to advice u..
but ur not taking it..
plz do not regret later...
live a better life..
but i lost all my hope of future..i dun even found any hope for it..is easy to say the thing to sumone..but is very hard to ask the person do wat u say..
i understand everything tat u say..but it is hard to me to do it..coz i'm just like stuck inside a place tat make me cnt move..if u drag me out in a hard way..i will bleed n it might cause me die..but if u let me inside thr..may be i will stuck thr forever until i die..or i will sink n die..
ya..fren is helping me..but hw much they can help me?they oso will have their problem..if i becum their burden it will make me be a very very bad person..i dun wan to..
is nt i dun take it..i understand everythng u say..i appreciate tat..but just like wat i say..i stuck thr..if u pull me out in a hard way..i might die becoz losing too much blood...
sry..
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