BrOwNiE LoR

HoPe FoR sWeEt LiFe~


Can i scold the fuck word? will anyone say me rude, impolite, or others? but i reali cnt stand for it dy..FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!! damn world..damn god..wat kind of decision u r makind FUCK la you!!!!!!!!!!!


ps..below 18 dun read tis post..


Who am i? i'm Jessica Lee..
Who am i? i'm a gal who r always dreaming and always do stupid stuff..
Who am i? i'm a 20 yrs old gal, but still super childish and refuse to grow up..
Who am i? i'm a gal who duno hw to move on..who duno hw to read wat others ppl thinking..
Who am i? i'm a gal who always make my fren and my family feel pathetic to me..

y i'm here? i duno..my parents bring me here..
y i'm here? i duno..i duno..i reali duno..

my darling tell me tat i have to move on..continue for my own life..ya..tats true..but hw?
my darling tell me tat i have to be strong..pass thru the hard time nw..ya..tats true..but hw?
my darling tell me tat i have to think positively..to get myself back..ya..tats true..but hw?

i gt a lots of frens..but who can i rely on?
i gt a lots of frens..but who shud i believe in?
i gt a lots of frens..but when i alone who shud i call?

feel like i emo again is it? ya..tats rite..i reali emo..
feel like i hopeless dt rite? ya..tats rite..i feel tat to myself too..
feel like i annoying rite? ya..tats rite..even he oso feel tat..


but nw..i feel like i'm the extra 1..
i feel like everything i did r wrong..
everything i done r too lebih dy..
or i shud say..i'm always the lebih 1..
or i shud say.i'm always the most stupid 1..

i lost myself..n i cnt find it back..
i lost myself..i duno whr is it sy..
i lost myself..who can help me find back myself?
i lost myself..is tat anyone can borrow me shoulder and rely on?


sry frens..sry tat let u all 2gether wif tis kind of fren..sry..


y shud i ask for help when tat nite?y cnt i just fall asleep when tat nite?tat i dun have to face all tis thing nw dy..y shud i..

pathetic..u guys knw wats tat mean rite..2day i heard sumone say it to me again..she is thr third person who sat tat word to me dy..i tot i will never have any feeling to the words anymore..but its wrong..it still feel hurt to me..the 1st n second person whosay tat word to me was my parents..i would never forget their face reaction when tat day they said the word to me..it is hurt..reali hurt..i tot i wnt cried when i hear sumone say tis word to me..i tot i wnt sad wnt i think back wat happened during tat time..i tot i wnt have any feeling wif it..

but i'm wrong..
pathetic..tis word still hurt me..it still make my wound bleeding..i already tried my best to forget the past y u still wan me to remember the past..it is hurt u knw..it is the worse memory i ever had..if i still can choose i would rather die then remember tis past..

i reali have to face the truth..i'm reali an idoit who make ppl always feel PATHETIC to me..sorry..i knw i make u all feel tat to me..i knw..i just can say sry..i knw after sumone read tis she sure give me (==) tis face again..but i just wan to say out wat i feel nw..just wan say out..sry..

nw i just realise my life reali damn sucks!! i think is nt my life's problem.. is my own problem..i'm reali a biggest failure in the world!!!damn it!!!!!

i reali damn disappointed to myself..hw can i get tis terrible result..wati did in the last trimester..my cgpa is 2.82, but my gpa is only 2.7..wat the hell am i doing..i reali damn disappointed to myself..damn it..


y i just wan to find a replacement oso will be tat hard..i just wan to start everything again, i just wan to start a new life..y will it be tat hard? i reali dun take any hurt anymore..my heart is bleeding, if i still cnt stop bleeding n i will die becoz of loss too much blood..

i dun wan to bring any burden to anyone anymore..i knw tis is a very small thing..i'll do my best settle it by myself..no matter hw the situation will becum, i'll take the responsibility by myself..i'll settle evrything by myself..i sure..

new trimester start soon..i have to stop n reset everything again b4 the trimester start..i have to reali focus on study and act as gud fren in frnt of everyone..i shud be a gud actress again..reali..i sure i can do it..i reali 4got tat i'm an actress b4..i shud take my role again..n be the best actress again..i knw i can do it..

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This blog just wanna share the feeling and thinking abt brownie's life..
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i just love ice-cream and sweet things,i just a normal girl,but just maybe more greedy then them..coz i like to chasing for a better life for myself..

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